New Year- New Goals- New Beginnings

Sometimes when someone says the word GOALS, it is like saying Mufasa to a bunch of Hyenas on the Lion King (If you forgot, watch the 11 second YouTube). It brings a wave of motivation and excitement mixed with uncertainty and fear.  As such I am writing this post somewhat selfishly to better collect my thoughts about the new year before the clock strikes midnight and 2015 begins. 

There is something exciting about a new year. There are endless possibilities. It brings the refreshing outlook of a new beginning in which we put behind us the shortcomings and hardships of the previous year and look forward to something anew. We all need a fresh start and a clean slate. So what will the story be for 2015 and how will we fill that clean slate? 

I recently read a quote by the legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden that has helped me to frame my paradigm for the coming year. It was something that his father used to tell him on the farm and continued with him throughout his life as he motivated some of the most successful teams and players in college basketball history. His father told him this: 

"Don’t worry much about trying to be better than someone else, learn from others, yes. But don’t just try to be better than they are. You have no control over that. Instead try, and try very hard, to be the best that you can be. That, you have control over."

 We live in a world of constant competition and it is so easy to compare ourselves to others and if we don't measure up to our perfect friend or neighbor, we are automatically a failure. I find Coach Wooden's view very refreshing. We don't need the anxiety that this comparison brings rather we can channel that energy into becoming the best person that we can be and that is all that really matters. 

Even still there can be something paralyzing and frightening about change and goals. It is not that we don't want to change, but it is hard to set goals and follow through with them. Why is change so hard? It seems so simple in our heads, we say I am going to eat better this year but then the pangs of hunger set in and we fall back into old patterns. Consistency just seems to be impossible. So rather than set goals, we shrink. 

This past year I read a quote by Albert Bowen that has taught me an important principle that I want to carry through this new year. I will attempt to summarize his thoughts. We all have experienced a motivating occasion, a conversation with a friend or family member, a spiritual or life changing experience wherein we are inspired with a list of things that we are going to change. We make high resolves to be better, to avoid past mistakes and realize our full potential. Then life happens and we become absorbed in more complicated pursuits and those high resolves are forgotten. Unfortunately many times that is the end of those goals. How can we then find lasting success in our goals that we so fervently committed to do during that inspired occasion? The truth is that even though our goals may seem like a steady stream of failures, long term success is most often found in regularly immersing ourselves in occasions, people, books and situations that inspire us again and again to set our sights higher. The more that we put ourselves in situations in which the warmth of new resolutions are made, the better equipped we will be for long-term success. Therefore the most important thing that we can do is frequently and often surround ourselves with people, places, books, clubs, religions and anything that inspire us on a consistent basis to realize our best selves. 

These sources of renewal will help us to stay on track and overcome discouragement that seems to always hang around. It isn't possible to do everything because change is a difficult uphill battle that most often requires us to get out of our comfort zone. So we should save ourselves the discouragement by limiting our goals to things that are specific and attainable. As we take small steps outside of our comfort zones our confidence increases which allows us to make greater strides with future goals. 

These adjustments and shifts of thought are why change can be scary but as we face up to these obstacles we will experience life more fully and completely. I have long loved the quote said by President Theodore Roosevelt: 

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” 

In the coming year there are going to be struggles and failures mixed with great success and achievement. I hope that we can seek after sources of renewal frequently and often that will expand our vision, lengthen our stride and increase our successes that our souls "shall never be with those cold and timid souls that know neither victory nor defeat."

Jesus Christ: The Gift that Broke All Fear

I love the Christmas season. There is something about the traditions, the twinkling lights, the tree, and the nativity that always make it a special time of year. Although there has become an increased commercialization of the Christmas season there remains in many hearts an increase in love, giving, service and time spent with family which most often is the source of the greatest joys and memories of the Christmas season. Presents break and become used up but the memories and spirit of Christmas live on. Most of all the Gift of Jesus Christ, given by the Father, stands supreme as the ultimate gift. As it says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16)." 

When the angelic hosts announced the birth of Jesus to the shepherds they began by saying: "Fear Not". Those words were most importantly an introduction to those shepherds and to the whole world that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was coming to save His people and to console every fear. His life was one of love. The blind saw, the sinner freed, the deaf heard, the dead lived. Yet He ultimately was taken by His people, beaten and bruised, rejected, forsaken and slain on the cross. Yet we find this the greatest gift, in His greatest suffering. He bore our griefs, and carried our sorrows, "the chastisement of our peace was upon Him and with His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:3-5)." The Book of Mormon teaches this principle in this way "He shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; He will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people that His bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that He may know according to the flesh how to succor His people according to their infirmities (Alma 7:11-12)." This means He perfectly understands every wound and pain, every tear and disappointment and every fear that we experience. There is no problem that He cannot relate to and no hurt he cannot heal, no slate he cannot make clean because He suffered all long before we did. As such He can succor or run to us in our time of need and be perfectly empathetic to every plight to every person who has ever lived.

Truly as we understand and accept Jesus Christ as our champion over all "Pain, affliction and temptations" that can potentially cripple our happiness there is no room for fear. As Paul said "Thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. O death (add fear, pain, disappointments here), where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory (1 Cor. 15: 55, 57)?" The more we who "labor and are heavy laden", Come unto Him, learn of Him and take the yoke of His gospel upon us, the more completely we shall find rest to our souls (Matthew 11:28-30)." He did not come to protect us from every hurt, but He offers us His peace if we will come to Him so that these pains are not suffered in vain. Consequently allowing our greatest challenges to change us and help us to become better people, more empathetic, more loving, more forgiving, more like Him. 

I am grateful that the Father loved us even that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ. I am grateful that He conquered all reason for fear and for this season in which we celebrate this magnificent gift.

Facing Up with Failure

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT! You are not smart enough! You are not skinny enough? You can't change why even try!" 

Everyday we are surrounded by people, friends and enemies, that shout these lies. It may be a person but it can often comes in the form of television personalities, Facebook friends that seem to be "living the dream" or flashy advertisements that undermine our self-esteem. When we feel like we don't measure up to a certain standard it is almost like our foreheads are stamped as loser, stupid, fat, ugly or failure. Many times these messages are subconsciously perceived and we don't recognize the commotion caused by the constant stream of insults that are coming our way. At times that person is ourselves when we actually believe what they are saying and feel the weight of the impossible slowly squeeze the breath from our hope and dreams. 

Last week I was meandering through YouTube taking a break from a stressful and discouraging day and I was struck by a video that quickly changed my perspective. It is an impossible story of a man, Arthur, that was told by doctors that he would never walk unassisted again. He was morbidly obese and had been for some time. He was down and out and it seemed like he had nothing to live for. He sought help and one trainer finally believed in him. He began to do Yoga and he fell over and over again, but he didn't give up. He kept trying, he refused to give up. Slowly you see this man change, his confidence returns and he become a new person. Take a minute to watch it. 

Maybe it is the fact that I have watched way too many inspirational sports movies in my life but this really struck a chord in my mind that no matter who we are, no matter what our circumstances may be they don't need to define us. Clinton Duffy an american prison warden in the 1950s who specialized in rehabilitating men in prison was once questioned by a critic “You should know that leopards don’t change their spots!” Replied Warden Duffy, “You should know I don’t work with leopards. I work with men, and men change every day." We need not be discouraged by the negativity that is constantly around us. We can change. We are not our past. The future really is as bright as our faith. 

We need not fear failure or be discouraged by its prospect. Theodore Roosevelt said: 

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

We are going to fail and when we fail we can choose to keep fighting or we can absorb the negativity around us. It is easy to listen to other people and be enabled by what they say. That is what inspires me the most about Arthur. His story shows the power that is within us when we refuse to accept when others say you can't and start believing, I CAN!

To the Heros of 9-11

Every September 11th is a gut check to me. For one it feels like it just took place yesterday when in fact it was 13 years ago. Even though those 13 years have flown by, it remains a strong call for patriotism in my life even more than on Independence day. I am sure that the memories of all those who lived through that day are still fresh. You probably know where you were and what you were doing when you first heard that the World Trade Centers were attacked. As a 13 year old, my first question was what are the World Trade Centers (sheltered I know)? I had never been to NYC and this made the attack seem much farther away than it really was. I remember for days following the attacks as our nation was forged together in the crucible devastation, several stories of the heroism of that day emerged. Of men and women who forgot themselves in a moment of panic and danger for a cause that was much greater than them. There are countless accounts of fireman running into the flames, men and women courageously sacrificing their lives for their coworkers or even people that they didn't know. I have often thought what separates the people with this "hero gene" that when panic and imminent danger is present they think of others rather than themselves. I have come to the conclusion that it is not their last choice of valor that defined their heroic character but in a lifetime of choosing love, altruistic sacrifice, selflessness and charity. Their final moments of sacrifice were only a manifestation of their characters of love, bravery and selflessness that had taken their entire lives to build. Todd Beamer was one of these men.

Todd Beamer was on United Flight 93, you will remember that this is the flight that was diverted by passengers like Todd, from its intended target, the White House. Todd was a normal guy, a kid from the suburbs of Chicago, he played baseball through high school and college and was an avid Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bulls and Chicago Bears fan. He was the father of two sons. With his wife, he taught Sunday school at Princeton Alliance Church and was involved in youth ministries. None of this seems out of the ordinary, nor does it appear like the makings of a hero but there was a heroic strength of character that had been built in Todd throughout his life that was evidenced on that fateful day.

On September 11th, 2001, United Flight 93 took off at 8:42 am from Newark for San Fransisco. This seemed like an unlikely place for heroism but 6 minutes after takeoff American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into the North World Trade Tower, 15 minutes later, at 9:03 am, United Flight 175 exploded into the South Tower. Moments after that everything changed, as Todd and his fellow passengers were driven into the back of the plane by terrorists, who had knives and a bomb. With both pilots and one passenger dead, the surviving frantically began making calls to family and loved ones to say their final good byes. Todd used a credit card phone in the back of the plane in an attempt to call his wife but was routed to a customer service representative, Lisa Jefferson. Beamer explained the situation to Jefferson and was informed about the attacks to the Trade Centers. Lisa was kept on the line as Todd and several other passengers plotted to take a stand against the terrorists and prevent more damage to an already wounded country. Before the counterattack began Todd told Johnson "If I don't make it, please call my family and let them know how much I love them." and then his final words were "Are you ready? Okay. Let's roll."

United Flight 93 Crash Site

The rest of the story is immortalized in 9-11 lore as the passengers fought their way into the cockpit and forced the plane down to a fiery death, safely in an empty field outside of Shanksville, Pennsylvania. This brave little band of strangers were the first of many to stand up to terrorism in our generation, independent of the cost to themselves and win. They paid this price for their country, for you and me, in the same way that hundreds of thousands of soldiers have before.

We may not be asked to put our lives on the line for freedoms sake but we can honor our country by doing those things that those who gave so much cannot now do: loving and cherishing our families, giving to those that are less fortunate, supporting our country and maintaining the cause of peace and freedom. In our lives there will be opportunities to be a hero. It may be less visible and instantaneous than Todd and the passengers of Flight 93 but these opportunities will come. Winston Churchill said “To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.” 

May we all recommit ourselves to the cause of patriotism and more fully appreciate the freedom that has been paid for with so many precious lives. May we live our lives in a way that we may through consistent acts of love and selflessness develop the "hero gene," that when our chance to do that very special, unique thing comes about our true character may manifest and we can respond as Todd did, "Lets roll!"

Credit: Wikipedia for details about Todd Beamer

Lesson's from Screwtape

I recently drove from Utah to Iowa to get back to school. During the 17 hours in the car I had a lot of time to think and I listened to a variety of different books. One of the books that I listened to was C.S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters. If you are not familiar it is a series of letters from a master devil, Screwtape, to his apprentice nephew, Wormwood. The letters vary on topic but all focus on strategies used by Satan's army to tempt and try mankind in an attempt to make them ineffective and miserable. In one of the letters, Screwtape instructs Wormwood about how God uses the "Undulations" or the ups and downs of life that we all experience. Our lives are a series of ups and downs, troughs and peaks in every department of our lives i.e. health and sickness, pleasure and pain, joy and sadness, employment and unemployment, concentration and relaxation etc. All are part of the undulations that we experience in life. Wormwood was under the false impression that God only used the times of prosperity to bless and help His people. Screwtape surprises his nephew however, with the revelation "that in His (God's) efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favorites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else." God does not simply use the good times or high points in our lives to instruct and teach us. He uses the low times, the moments of weakness and discouragement to open our minds and teach us lessons that we would otherwise not learn if our lives remained stagnant with ease.

It is part of God's plan for us to have "troughs" in our lives or times when we have to struggle, overcome failure (both actual and perceived failure, there is a difference), work hard, pray harder and fight for each step forward. The real question is why does God put us in such undesirable, unpredictable and sometimes miserable circumstances? If He loves us so much why can't He fill our lives with a consistent stream of wealth, prosperity and ease? Paul answered this question in Hebrews 12:11, he wrote: "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby (Hebrews 12:11)." Paul's life was not easy but he knew that God saw the end from the beginning and therefore He knew exactly what experience Paul needed to maximize his growth and development. Paul only recognized the benefit of his trials after the fact, when the storm broke and it seems like he had reached a calm, he looked back and could see God's hand directing and teaching him. As it is with us, even though in the moment our afflictions are trying, taxing and wearisome, when looked upon later we realize that God had a purpose and by them we were made stronger people, with increased capacity to meet future struggles.

Orson Hyde added to this principle when he said: 

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire."

There are times during our struggles that we may feel that everyone has forsaken us including God. It may seem like our prayers do not reach beyond the ceiling and each time we knock at heavens door there is no answer. This response to our cries may make us feel like we must be unworthy for God to answer our prayers or that God must not love us anymore. It appears like a logical explanation when everything points to the God of Heaven ignoring us in what seems like our greatest time of need. However, there are none exempt from these brief periods of silent treatment from Heaven, as even Jesus pled as He hung in agony on the cross "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me (Matt. 27:46)?"

Heaven does not become mute because God is mad at us, nor are we unworthy of his presence but as always these phases are profound teaching moments. It is as if God is teaching us how to ride a bike, for a moment He must let go to help us gain confidence in ourselves and in our ability to peddle on our own. If He did not let go, we would never understand our potential. Screwtape warned his apprentice of these situations, saying:

"Sooner or later He (God) withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs— to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it (us) is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best... He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our (the devil's) cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s (God's) will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished , and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

God may leave us on our own for periods of time to aid us in our evolution as children of God but He never will forget nor remove His eye from our paths. In the book of Isaiah, Israel complained that God had forgotten and forsaken them. To answer their complaints God answered: "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands (alluding to the emblems from the nails of the cross); thy walls are continually before me (Isaiah 49:15-16)." I know that God will not forget us even if we feel like he has forsaken us. The love that it took to pay the price for our souls was too great for Jesus to ever forget. Paul speaking of this love said, "I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39)." 

May we enjoy times of prosperity and ease but when the undulations of life take us into a time of adversity and struggle, as it surely will, remember that God's love will never fail us. He is using the troughs that we experience, even when we feel completely alone, to expand our minds, educate our desires, strengthen our faith, enliven our hope and refine who we are until we are transformed "unto a perfect man (or woman), unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ (Ephesians 4:13)." So don't give up, don't lose faith but trust Him and fight on!

Gratitude in the Valley of the Shadow of Death

Something that has been on my mind a lot over the last couple of weeks is this principle of being grateful in every circumstance, the good times and the bad. I write about this topic selfishly because I know that I will need the blessings that result from a grateful attitude as the difficulties and frustrations of another school year approaches. I am reminded of Psalms 23 which shows David's gratitude in spite of his "walk through the valley of the shadow of death." David does not complain about these difficulties of the valley of the shadow of death neither does he ask resentfully "why God did this happen to me?" With a grateful heart he recounted how the Lord, "maketh [him] to lie down in green pastures, that he "leadeth [him] beside the still waters and restores [his] wounded soul." David's faith permitted him to "drink the bitter cup without becoming bitter (Maxwell)" and to see beyond his current hardships and appreciate "the goodness and mercy which followed [him] all the days of [his] life" and ultimately exclaim, "my cup runneth over."

It is very easy to be grateful for the blessings that God has given us when our lives are thriving, but what about when life takes an unexpected turn? Are we only to be grateful during times of prosperity and relative ease? It is difficult enough to deal with the trials and struggles that we all go through each day. Our worries, fears and struggles can consume our thoughts leaving us with little or no time to recognize and feel gratitude in our hearts. When truth be told feeling the feelings of gratitude in spite of and during the worst of our troubles will relieve the tension of our troubled minds, increase our faith and ability to accept God's will.

Dieter Uchtdorf recently said:

"Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious. We can be grateful! It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding."

You might be thinking as I have often thought that to be grateful all the time is good in principle but there are some days when it seems like there is nothing to be grateful for. It could be that Monday when the car breaks down, the air conditioning goes out and you failed the test that you needed to do well on. We can struggle finding things to be grateful for during prolonged illness or unemployment, the death of a loved one or when discouragement relentlessly stalks are minds day and night. Even when we can't count our blessings, we can still have an attitude of gratitude but it takes faith and confidence that God is hearing our prayers and despite our feelings that the whole world is falling apart, He alone will walk with us and carry us. Dieter Uchtdorf continued "Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true. True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will."

I am reminded of an experience told by David Bednar about how an attitude of gratitude encouraged the healing, peace and understanding spoken of in the midst of a tragedy in his life.

"Sister Bednar and I had been informed about the unexpected death of a dear friend, and our immediate desire was to pray for the surviving spouse and children. As I invited my wife to offer the prayer, a member of the Twelve [who was a guest in our home], unaware of the tragedy, graciously suggested that in the prayer Sister Bednar express only appreciation for blessings received and ask for nothing. Given the unexpected tragedy, requesting blessings for our friends initially seemed to us more urgent than expressing thanks. Sister Bednar responded in faith to the direction she received. She thanked Heavenly Father for meaningful and memorable experiences with this dear friend. She communicated sincere gratitude for the Holy Ghost as the Comforter and for the gifts of the Spirit that enable us to face adversity and to serve others. Most importantly, she expressed appreciation for the plan of salvation, for the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, for His Resurrection, and for the ordinances and covenants of the restored gospel which make it possible for families to be together forever. Our family learned from that experience a great lesson about the power of thankfulness in meaningful prayer. We learned that our gratefulness for the plan of happiness and for the Savior’s mission of salvation provided needed reassurance and strengthened our confidence that all would be well with our dear friends."

Job, who despite losing his livelihood, servants, and even his cherished family of 7 children, still said "the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21)." Despite being afflicted with painful boils and other maladies he would not curse God (Job 2:10). Having his closest friends turn away from him, stricken with grief and seemingly being forsaken by the God whom he loved most, he still was able to say with confidence, "I know that my Redeemer liveth...And though skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God (Job 19:25-26)." Job's gratitude for and recognition of God's hand was not limited to times of prosperity, but Job saw clearly through severe affliction and found the power to endure in Christ's grace as he continued in a disposition of gratitude and faith.

We, like Job, will have times when we figuratively "walk through the valley of the shadow of death", however we can maintain a grateful attitude because we know that God is with us and His "goodness and mercy [has followed us] through the storm therefore our "cup runneth over (Psalms 23)."

Why Push Against the Rock?

A few weeks ago I had a flashing thought that it would be a good idea to start a blog and record some of the things that matter most to me. Whether they be life experiences, beliefs or truths that have made a difference in my life. I am a busy dental student in Iowa where I feel like I merely eat, drink, think and dream teeth! For some reason however, I feel that there is some good that I can do by sharing a small portion of the ramblings that go on in my head. I will let you be the judge if this was a good idea or not.

Growing up I spent a lot of time working for my Grandfather. My Grandpa can talk for hours and I can listen for hours so we make a great team. He told me one day to memorize the lines penned by David Henry Thoreau: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." It is a simple phrase but it has stuck with me and had a powerful impact on the way that I view myself and others. 

It means that we all have challenges, we all have demons in our closets that persist to make our lives challenging. They may come in the form of persistent health problems, strained or abusive family relationships, marital problems and divorce or lack of marital prospects, friends and resulting loneliness, addiction and the guilt of past mistakes, financial distress and mounting debt and a number of other things that weigh heavily on our minds whether they are our fault or not. It is NORMAL and a crucial part of life and no one is immune! 

God knows our struggles and we can be assured that there is a purpose, beyond our current understanding, for the pain that we experience. As Neal Maxwell said "[Life] presents us with numerous opportunities to become more Christlike: first, by coping successfully with those of life’s challenges which are “common to man[kind]” (1 Cor. 10:13). In addition, there are also our customized trials such as experiencing illness, aloneness, persecution, betrayal, irony, poverty, false witness, unreciprocated love, et cetera. If endured well now, “all these things” can be for our good and can “greatly enlarge the soul,” including an enlarged capacity for joy (D&C 122:7; D&C 121:42). Meek suffering often does the excavating necessary for that enlarging!"

God knows us and loves us so much that He gives us trials, unique to us and fitted to our endowed capacities that stretch us and broaden our current understanding thus increasing our empathy and enlarging our ability to meet future challenges with greater faith, power and resolution. God doesn't give us our neighbors trials because they would not stretch us where we need to be stretched and would lack the power to sufficiently prepare us to enter His kingdom. Even though we feel inadequate in the moment and at times only moments away from losing it, we are being shaped, empowered and refined.  

This principle reminds me of a story written by an unknown author about a man who, like us, was given more than he could handle:

"There was a man who was asleep one night in his cabin when suddenly his room was filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told him he had a work for him to do, and showed him a large rock, explaining that he was to push against that rock with all of his might. This the man did, and for many days he toiled from sunup to sundown; his shoulder set squarely against the cold massive surface of the rock pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain."

"Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture - placing thoughts in the man's mind, such as 'Why kill yourself over this, you're never going to move it,' or 'Boy, you've been at it a long time and you haven't even scratched the surface,' etc. - giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was an unworthy servant because he wasn't moving the massive stone."

"These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man and he started to ease up in his efforts.  'Why kill myself?' he thought.  'I'll just put in my time, putting forth just the minimum of effort and that will be good enough.' And that he did, or at least planned on doing until one day he decided to take his troubles to the Lord.  'Lord,' he said, 'I have labored hard and long in your service, putting forth all my strength to do that which you have asked of me.  Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock half a millimeter.  What is wrong?  Why am I failing?"

"To this the Lord responded compassionately, 'My friend...when long ago I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you to push against the rock with all our strength, and that you have done.  But never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it.  At least not by yourself.  Your task was to push and now you come to me, your strength spent, thinking that you have failed and ready to quit.  But is that really so?  Look at yourself.  Your arms are strong and muscled.  Your hands are calloused from constant pressure and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your ability now far surpasses that which you used to have.  Yet still, you haven't succeeded in moving the rock; and you come to me now with a heavy heart and your strength spent.  I, my friend will move the rock.  Your calling was to be obedient and to push, and to exercise your faith and trust in my wisdom...and this you have done."

I have come to know that despite our "quiet desperations," if we will turn to Christ and "take His yoke upon ourselves and learn of Him (Matthew 11:28-30)" we will find His grace and power sufficient to uphold us in our weakness and empower us to become stronger, more capable men and women and better fitted for His kingdom.